What a deplorable person I am

Today, I ate almost twice the amount of calories I was planning to eat. That’s good news, because the plan wasn’t great. The plan was actually pretty sad, and nowhere close to what I deserve.

Ten days from today, I will defend my thesis in a public ceremony. Nine days from today, I will host a seminar with scientists from all over the world. Five days from today, I will arrive in the Netherlands and see my friends whom I haven’t seen in months. Those are exciting things! I should feel excited! But I feel cold and tired, and it’s my own fault. I could feed myself properly. I could turn up the heating and wear warm clothes. I could take a shower and go to bed early. I could sit back and watch a movie. But I don’t. Instead, I focus on becoming skinny. What a deplorable person I am.

I’m trying hard to turn this post into something positive, but I’m afraid it’s not happening today. Although there’s definitely solace in this day being over. The sun will come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun!

(see, I am trying!)

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